Down the Drain DIY

By Billy Aldridge

Being a plumber means getting to thrill vicariously at all the DIY shows on TV.  Sure, watching guys like Norm Abram go through the paces of rebuilding this or that old home is always an inspiration.  While the DIY show genre was almost single-handedly inspired by Norm’s predecessor and mentor, Bob Villa, every single DIY spinoff is hosted by a dyed-in-the-wool professional with years of on the job experience.  So if I was going to throw my hat into the ring to create a DIY plumbing show that showed it like it is, I wouldn’t spin it as a “Fix this Plumbing” concept at all. No, I think a more informative and vastly more entertaining angle would be to create a series that showcases the unfortunate results of people who thought they could save some money by doing it themselves.  I call the concept “Down the Drain DIY.” Here is an episode that I have cobbled together from doing a little research online.

Episode 1: The Hosed Housewife (Or, how to turn a $10 DIY into a $360 emergency plumbing repair.) 

Our upstairs hall toilet sprung a leak recently, emitting a steady hiss punctuated by frequent whooshes of the pump refilling the tank -- a bit like having Darth Vader lurking in the hall. We don't use it much, so I just turned off the water to the toilet and silenced the evil Jedi. But with visitors arriving shortly from the UK, it occurred to me that access to a loo that didn't involve traipsing through our bedroom might be preferred by all parties.

I was ready to call a plumber, but my dad scoffed on the phone. "An easy fix. Just needs a new fill valve," he assured me. So off I went to Home Depot where yes indeed, Mr. Orange Apron fixed me up with a replacement fill valve for about $10. (something my dad continues to call a 'ball cock' even though they no longer have balls and don't cock. It's been replaced by something that's more like a 'shank donut' but honestly, that doesn't sound any less dirty.) The Force was strong in me. I imagined my light saber emerging from the end of the fill valve and beheading a plumber. Take that!

Once back from her trip to the big box store, our heroine realized that the instructions that came with the parts were less than adequate.  Undaunted, she pressed on and completed the repair to the best of her ability.  Then she opened the shutoff valve.

I turned on the water... and a steady stream cascaded onto the floor.  I turned off the water. I could still hear a little hiss, like it wasn't all the way off, but it looked like it was off. I turned the handle a little harder. No change. Harder. The water started coming out of the hose faster. I turned it the other way. No change. Turned it back. The stream became a torrent.

Suddenly, a fill valve was the least of my problems. I had no idea where the main water cutoff for the house was. I emptied the linen closet onto the floor, ran to the phone and called the first plumber in the yellow pages that said 24×7 emergency service, grabbed a couple of bowls and raced back upstairs. Where I sat for over an hour, bailing water into the tub at the rate of one bowl every 30 seconds or so. I believe that counts as a workout.

The moral of the story is you need to know how and where to shut off the water to your home if you don’t want to wind up getting hosed. (Below is a video that shows you step-by-step how to locate and turn off the water main.)

While do-it-yourself is all the rage, the bottom line for many homeowners is that unless you know your limits, you need to have a fallback plan in place and you absolutely need to have your friendly neighborhood plumber’s phone number on speed dial the next time you get the urge to DIY.

Billy Aldridge is one of the Doctors of Plumbology at Aldridge and sons Plumbing in Jacksonville, Florida.  For more helpful plumbing tips and step-by-step DIY videos, go to http://plumbers-jacksonville-fl.com